Calm Down

If I had a catchphrase, it’d probably be “calm down.” I’m sure to those who don’t know me, this would seem quite strange, so let me explain. I’m a very chill, relaxed person - classic Californian. However, it becomes harder for me to remain that way when those around me are, shall we say, not as chill. My mom is going to hate me for picking on her, but it’s necessary to illustrate my point (sorry mom!).

She hails from the great state of New Jersey, and when she gets upset, I like to say she goes “East Coast.” I do need to give her credit, as she’s MUCH better than she ever used to be. I guess the longer she’s lived on the West Coast – and interacted with her cool as a cucumber Cali daughter - the more she’s mellowed out. However, every now and then, she will go East Coast on some trivial matters that, while annoying, are nothing to go ape over.

When she does this, I walk over to her, pat her head, and say “Shhhhh, calm down.” She HATES it, but it makes me laugh (and I secretly think it helps her refocus her fury), so I keep doing it. While this is a humorous anecdote, it leads me to the topic I’d like to write about today: Anger.

Now, I’ve only been alive 28 years (29 very soon!), but I have to say – this world has undoubtedly become more enraged than I have ever seen it. Perhaps I was too young and naïve to notice it growing up, but it’s now getting to a point where people are losing it at the 99-cent Store over not getting a discount. Like, really? Calm down.

I turn on the TV, and a school shooting has occurred. People are being held hostage in their place of worship by a member of a different religion. Hundreds of thousands of people are dying or dead because they refuse to take small steps to ensure the safety of themselves and others during an unprecedented pandemic. Political entities on both sides of the aisle are screaming at cameras about how we have to all come together, and then doing the exact opposite.

Now, I’m sure walking up to these people, wrapping them in a loving embrace, and whispering, “Shhhh, calm down,” would likely get me sucker punched. And maybe rightly so. It’s important to respect personal boundaries when you’re trying to get a point across (sorry mom, you’re not off the hook because, well, you’re my mom). But what I would like to get the chance to say to these people is “what does anger really accomplish?”

Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Whether you realize it or not or whether you think it’s justified or not, when you blow up at someone or act out of anger, Satan wins. You’re giving him an opening to say to God, “see? Look at how easy it is to rile up your beloved humans. They may claim to love others as you do, but all it takes is one small spark to get them to explode.”

According to James 1:19-20, “…Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Are you calling that person who disagrees with you an expletive because that’s the right thing to do, or because it will make you feel better or like you’ve “won?” Being right about something doesn’t make one virtuous. Vengeance is for the Lord to exact, not you (Romans 12:19). After all, Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”

Now, the situations listed above definitely will get most people riled up in one way or another. But what about the dumb, everyday frustrations that pop up? A delivery you needed today won’t get here until the end of the week. The next-door neighbor’s kid is outside screaming his lungs out while you’re trying to read (I even tell him to calm down, under my breath). You have to work overtime because your coworker decided to turn in the one thing you need to complete a project at the last minute.

Remember that only “fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end” (Proverbs 29:11). In short, those who “calm down,” “wise up.” When you remain tranquil in a situation, you become the true victor. For what better prize is there than a heart at peace?