Hope and a Future
For those of you who have been reading along for some time, you might recall my blog “There’s No Such Thing as Luck.” In it, I talked about something I was going through at the time that I couldn’t reveal details about. Thankfully, now I can. I had been feeling super burnt out for the past few months. I hid it well, but I knew something was wrong with me. I felt hopeless, aimless, and…purposeless.
Yes, I’m sure part of it had to do with the pandemic. It’s hard to find the silver lining when not only you, but all those around you are feeling distraught. But I could tell this wasn’t the only thing. We are told in Jeremiah 29:11 God has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I’ve written about this verse before because it’s one of my favorites that I always find myself coming back to when I’m at my lowest. And let me tell you, these past few months, I’ve definitely needed it.
Toward the end of 2021, I decided to start actively searching for what God wanted me to pursue in terms of my professional life. I had been with my current company for going on six and a half years. It was my first “big girl” job out of college, and, at least in the beginning, I stayed because I was learning a lot…but I was also becoming far too comfortable. Every day felt like a rerun of a show you turn on in the background while you play with your phone. I was there, but not really “there.” I knew I had to wake up and do something more.
After some help from my amazing brother, my resume was looking stellar and I felt confident enough to hustle it around to as many opportunities as possible. Every night I’d pray the Lord would open my eyes to the right posting; that I’d know it as soon as I saw it and everything would move as smooth as butter.
In January, I found what I thought would be the perfect match. But I was in for a surprise: Job searching isn’t the same as it was six and a half years ago. I completed an initial phone screening and was told I’d be moved on to the next round. After that interview, I breathed a sigh of relief. Surely I had impressed them enough to be hired on the spot! But that sigh of relief was much too premature. There was another interview after that. And another one. AND ANOTHER ONE. When I was told I had reached the last round, I figured it was just a formality. That the next day I’d wake up to an email in my inbox saying CONGRATULATIONS! Only it wasn’t a job offer. It was a “Thank you for your time.”
I just about blew a gasket, let me tell you. I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel. Mad? Ohhhhh you bet. Like a fool for letting them waste my time? A little. But the answer came in quiet tears of frustration. Why did I even bother? What was the point? Well, I’ll tell you what the point was. This wasn’t the job for me. God was using this trial to prepare me for what he really had ready for me.
After a few more half-hearted interviews with companies that would have been “good enough,” I got a request in mid-March for a phone interview. After digging more into the company to determine who they were and what they did, I had a feeling it would be a risk worth taking. I ended up being right. Yes, it was still a lengthy process. But I learned a lot about myself as I answered questions that were much more in-depth than “where do you see yourself in five years?” They made me reflect on the numerous challenges that were thrown my way that, at the time, had me slightly annoyed at God. Why was he putting me through this? Didn’t he promise His plans wouldn’t harm me? That they’d make me prosperous and give me hope and a future?
It was as I was wracking my brain to pick out experiences that would make for the best answers that a lightbulb went off in my head. I see what you did there, God. No one is exempt from tough times. In fact, you should be praising Him for them. Because it’s through these grueling challenges that you learn who He has created you to be. You weren’t born to give up. He didn’t knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13) for you to come out, live every day like a robot on autopilot, and then go back to be with Him with nothing to show for it. I don’t know about you, but the first words I want to hear Him say to me are “well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:23).
We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). God put us here for a reason. He never promised us it would be easy (we can thank Adam and Eve for that). But Jesus did say He came so we “may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). Nevertheless, it takes work on our part, too. We cannot expect blessings to just fall into our laps because we are “good” Christians. We can, however, rely on Him to fulfill His promise of giving us hope.
The next time you feel like He’s keeping you from something, be sure to remind yourself He’s not doing it out of spite – He’s doing it because He’s in the process of preparing something for us that’s “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20)
