The One Where Everyone Went Back to School

It’s back-to-school season.

I’m sure you’ve seen all the social media posts by your friends. Sweet photos of first days, new teachers, and chalkboard signs telling everyone what their children want to be when they grow up have been filling your feeds, I’m sure.

For many of my friends, it’s a time of rejoicing, of looking forward to a new season.

It’s as simple as getting past the leisure of summer and accepting an earlier alarm setting. For many families - the families of my friends, anyway - it seems relatively, dare I say, easy.

I know, I know. Nothing in parenting is ever totally “easy,” and I don’t mean to diminish what the majority of families face. What I mean, I guess, is that the process is expected. There may be some stress from school supply shopping and navigating super crazy carpool lines. Kids may be squirrely and out of practice with the morning routine. There may be a little unease at meeting a new teacher and making new friends.

Even so, this is all expected. We have a collective agreement that these things are all a part of going back to school, and after the stress of it all eases, we can sigh with relief and maybe even celebrate hanging up our full-time entertainer gig for another season.

What if it’s not so easy for your family, though?

What if you can take every expectation and throw it straight in the garbage because everything in your home goes off the rails, and you find yourself out in the wilderness with no compass or map, trying to find your way to some semblance of “normal”?

We just finished the first three days of school, and last night, I read an article published in 2014 by a teacher about “That Kid,” the kid you look at and think how misbehaved or awful they are and you wonder what kind of parents they have at home.

I read it, and I cried.

I cried because our back-to-school week didn’t look like everyone else’s. I wondered how many people looked at my son having a meltdown over finding a new thermos in his backpack and judged our parenting. Or if they saw him having a meltdown during morning hymn sing on day two and thought about what consequences they would put in place that would nip that in the bud. Did they think me uncaring because I didn’t walk him into class the first day of school, not realizing that last year, when I did walk him into school, it made my leaving almost impossible for him? Did they know how much I desperately wanted to be able to walk him in and how hard it was for me to pretend like the first day was no big deal, a day like any other day because “excited” and “big emotions” go hand-in-hand with us? Did they realize we practiced for the first day of school all week, even down to getting dressed in the school uniform and taking “first day of school” photos?

Going back to school looks so different for us than it does for most.

There are times I feel so helpless, defeated, and unsure of what to do to help. I question my parenting decisions daily. I wish things were, well, easier - easier for me, sure, but mostly, easier for my son. Maybe you do, too.

Friends, in this, like in so many things, I really am helpless. I do not know the answers. I do not have the power to “fix” things or make school easier for my son. I cannot control what people see or think, and I cannot make everything easy for our family.

What I can do is pray. I’ve prayed and reminded myself I serve a good, mighty God who is always near.

I’ve been praying for wisdom, because James says, “if any of [us] lack wisdom, [we] should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to [us]” (1:5). I am claiming that promise!

I‘ve been thanking God for his love for my son, and reminding myself I can “be confident of this, that he who began a good work in [my son] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil 1:6). God loves my child even more than I do. He will go with him and will never leave or forsake him (Deut. 31:6).

I’ve also been acknowledging that, while I feel helpless to make things easier, God certainly is not. What seems too big for me to handle is nothing to God because “he is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Eph. 3:20). He can do so much more than the picture I have in my mind of the way I’d like things to go.

Maybe back to school wasn’t easy for you and your children either. Maybe you spend your whole day praying, pleading with God that your sweet little one will just be okay.

If so, this prayer is for you.

God of heaven, you do great things. You are the maker of heaven and earth and the savior and lover of our souls. You see us in our weaknesses and make us strong. Your grace is good enough for anything we need, and we need you now, in this moment. Help us not be anxious about our children; instead, help us to come to you with our worry and trust in your love of us and our children. Give us your peace during difficult times, and fill us with hope and love. Renew our strength, Lord, and help us to rest in you. Remind us you can meet all our needs and the needs of our children. Remind us of your great love and that your opinion matters more than the world’s. We ask you for wisdom to know how to help our kids when they struggle, and we ask that you would give wisdom to the adults at their schools to do the same. We ask that you would ease the transition back to school. Help us to be confident that you have started a good work in our families and that you will see it completed, that you will never abandon or forsake us, and that you would work for our good. Be with us and our children this day and every day, and may we be a beacon of light for your goodness and love.

We ask in hope and confidence that nothing is impossible for you. We believe in your promises and cling to them for our families. In the name of Christ Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, we ask these things.

Amen.