Control Freak

I don’t know about you, but I am probably the walking definition of a Type A personality. Some well-known traits of this personality type include being ambitious, well-organized, having an intense dislike of wasting time, and experiencing stress when faced with delays or other challenges that affect success. I can say it definitely fits me to a tee. I’ll admit I’m a control freak. I don’t enjoy the unknown, and God help the poor soul who tries to schedule a meeting less than two days in advance with me – regardless of whether it’s for work or pleasure.

I’m not going to lie - I used to scoff when I saw those plaques from places like Home Goods with the trite saying “Let Go and Let God” printed in big, bold fancy cursive writing. I trust God. I really do. But it’s hard to completely let go. It’s not in my DNA to just “be.” I must “do”…always. For if I don’t “do,” how can I depend on anyone else to take care of what needs to be done?

Yes, God is all powerful. There is nothing He cannot do. I mean…the Bible explicitly says, “For with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37). Nevertheless, as but a simple human being, I can’t seem to stop my brain from reeling with “what ifs.” I tell myself if I consistently try to cut off the negative possibilities, it must mean bad things will never happen. I preemptively wrestle for absolute control over possibilities as to try and diminish the chances of each occurring.

Here are some examples:

• “What if that person doesn’t reply to my oh-so-important email and it causes me to miss a deadline?” à Solution: I’m going to email them a third time and mark it as urgent AND request a read receipt.

• “What if I encounter an extremely long detour while driving and run out of gas before I get to my destination?” à Solution: Fill up any time I see a decent gas price so I’m never less than tank half full.

• “What if that restaurant I want to go to with a friend ends up having an hour and a half wait when we get there?” à Solution: Better make a reservation at least two weeks in advance AND call the day before to make sure it’s still there even though there are plenty of other restaurants in the vicinity that will likely have shorter wait times anyway.

I know, I know. I am overkill incarnate. I struggle with taking each day as it comes, as I’m sure so many others do. I shouldn’t; the Bible is full of God’s promises that no matter what we go through, He’ll be there. No matter how insignificant or catastrophic, God takes every one of our worries seriously. Lately I’ve been trying to lean on Jeremiah 29:11 - “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

I don’t believe God just wants us to sit there and do nothing about a situation if it’s within our power to make reasonable preparations. You can’t just wait around and wait for God to take care of a work assignment for you, for instance. You can do your due diligence, and for whatever else is out of your control, He’s there. He won’t abandon you.

He doesn’t want you to fail (unless it’s meant to prepare you for something greater down the line). When things don’t go your way, you’ll survive. When you feel like you’ve reasonably done all you can, take a deep breath. I cringe as I type this, but let go and let God. For remember: “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).